Eat at Nicks: spiderwebs in the GUM offices
For more information, check “Euthanasia” on your dictionary
Please Chairman Puchowski, interrupt this agony: close down the Grand Unified Micronational. Do it for those who worked hard in that institution, that saw its golden age, its accomplishments, its quarrels and endless fights, and now find nothing but a dusty and abandoned building. I mean, the GUM is already doomed, so why slowing it down?
Despite the new logo, the GUM has been, in the last weeks, completely inactive. The union that used to rule the MicroWiki Community, de facto created by the “man with the 40 personalities” and which saw more diplomatic disputes than the League of Nations is now laying in a hospital bed suffering from a terminal disease and surrounded by some of its member states.
Alexander once told me that in Italy there’s a proverb that says “when the Pope dies, you get a new Pope”, and I’m afraid it fits perfectly in our little case. When an organisation like the GUM becomes irreversibly dormant, you just join another existing one, full stop. I think it’s pointless to try and revive it again, most notably if the member states inside don’t care much of its fate. The Organisation of Active Micronations has taken the place the GUM originally had, and it’s doing its job perfectly, so I don’t even see why we need another intermicronational organisation than the OAM. Because it only focuses on the MicroWiki Community? What’s the point of creating an organisation then if it’s restricted to one area? Just establish a golf club instead, that’d be cool.
I hope you have already understood that I’m not really protesting against the GUM, I really don’t care if no one is closing it down officially, and I’m sure Mr. Puchowski is, unlike some cretins who like to fight each other virtually, very busy; I’m just trying to make some constructive criticism. Generally, in micronationalism if an organisation isn’t working anymore, it gets abandoned or is just closed down. The problem here is that there were even plans to revive the GUM, despite the fact that we haven’t heard of those anymore. That’s why I’m writing this editorial, because I think we should remember the GUM for its golden age, and not because of its sudden death caused by prolonged inactivity and a “schizophrenic nutter”. It’s a deceiving sensation for a lot of those who are reading this article, me included, I am sure, but those who were in the GUM are now working somewhere else, and the GUM could risk becoming a YAMO.
If you still didn’t stop reading my editorial, then I believe you’re also interested in knowing what I would do. Okay then… so! What would I do? Get all the GUM member states, make them sit around a huge table and say: “Alright homies, the GUM is closed, get yo stuff really fast ’cause we already sold the building to Apple and they’re coming in two hours, so bang bang skeet skeet”. That’s it, pretty simple. All of the GUM member states are actively involved in other organisations so their diplomatic affairs will not be compromised, and plus, if there was some attention given to the Grand Unified Micronational, it will be now given to unions with a higher activity record.
The annoying ones would now say it’s Puchowski’s fault; that the GUM collapsed because the Landashir’n statesman was never able to do his work as Chairman, that he couldn’t handle the pressure. I would show my middle finger to those people. Puchowski was left with a carcass and a first aid kit as the only accessory available (I also imagine he didn’t have the moderator rights that Lethler had in the online venues and the forum). Furthermore, the intermicronational response was absent, and no real sign of collaboration from other states was given. How could he work in such an apathetic environment?
Should the GUM be put back into activity by 2011, it almost certainly would end up being a second-hand institution due to the enormous lapse of time it has been inactive. A “new GUM” would confuse new micronations and add itself to the long list of unions that “seek to promote peace”. After many organisations that have been founded with the same aims as the Grand Unified Micronational, have been rapidly labeled as YAMOs and are now inactive, I believe the risk isn’t worth taking.