The ballad of Frederic the Inventor
GUM-OAM dossier reveals shocking facts about Pristinia
St.Charlian Government confirms that informations supplied are true
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes…again
“The End” by Doors, 1967
It’s confusing. Very confusing, to be fair. Three controversial figures of this year happen to be the same person, and now, no one knows who this person actually is. There is one curious reaction about the GUM-OAM dossier called “The Pristinian Conspiracy” that I experienced: after reading it, you have this strange feeling that Mark Dresner was nowhere and anywhere, because he never existed. Sure thing is that now, his career is over.
Robert Lethler has got only a few “hobbies”: leading one of the most impressive Communist micronations of our community, and ruining the life of people that lied about their micronational life. The latter is something he enjoys a lot, and when someone decides to distort some facts about his micronational life, Lethler’s always ready to get as much information possible to make him regret the decision of doing so. He did so for the scandal involving the Kingdom of Camuria (who now is somewhere in the desert) and he did now with the case involving Pristinia.
Because, ladies and gents, we have to face it: lying in micronationalism is never a good choice, and if discovered, causes your credibility to decline to horrible levels, or worse, causes your micronation to collapse. In this case, the United Federation still didn’t publish anything about their political situation, but sure thing is that their foreign affairs have been terribly hurt. But what does the dossier actually talk about?
“The Pristinian Conspiracy”‘s main task is to show evidence yhat prove that Frederic I of Pristinia, Mark Dresner, and Ann-Sophie Myers, three leading figures of Pristinia and of the MicroWiki community, expected to be three different people, are actually the same person, and therefore, that Pristinia, from the fall of the Empire until the last days, has been lying on the identity of its leading figures.
The first document that appears on the dossier redacted by Lethler is an extremely important letter written by “Dresner” to Alexander Reinhardt that proves that the “revolution” never existed and that the “new Pristinia” that was supposed to be the dawn of a new nation was actually founded by the same old guy.
The second section is even more interesting and important: it’s a lie inside another lie, as I like to recognize it. While Ann-Sophie Myers is proven to be Frederic, the dossier also shows that “she” also lied about her age and life: in all conversations with Guillaume Sœrgel (and also on MicroWiki), she claims to be a lawyer and ambassadress to Eritrea, albeit she confesses to Reinhardt that she’s 14 and in a relationship with Mark Dresner. This means that Dresner is 14; therefore, Dresner is lying too.
Even if Ann-Sophie Myers was not Mark Dresner, she would still be in trouble for encouraging other nations to isolate Erusia, though her plans were, in the beginning, to do the opposite. The report, always in the same section, also showsdiverse “diplomatic” methods for dealing with other micronational politicians, such as comparing the leader of Sandus to a “stalinist and undemocratic” Scientologist, and referring to the leader of Nemkhavia as a “retarded nursery kid”. Nevertheless, the familiarity she started to have with Meehan and Reinhardt resulted in the key to this dossier.
Let’s make an example: I know Alexander Reinhardt from a long time. Suddenly, I decide to impersonate another guy, and start talking to him, however, instead of being professional and kind of formal (as everyone would be with a person they know for a short time) I start speaking in a very friendly way and talk to him like I knew him since childhood. Reinhardt would probably get suspicious. This is what happened with Meehan: such an informal behavior, “all of a sudden”, sounded very fishy.
The rest of the report is all “supporting evidence”: the fact that “Ms.Myers” had to use a proxy, her writing style, very similar to Dresner’s, her incident regarding the People’s Press, and the fact that Dresner’s removal from office was too quick and didn’t result in any reaction by him, that, although being an acknowledged polemicist, didn’t object to the Congress’ decision and left the micronational scene in blitzschnell.
What is the aim of the report? Lethler asks all members of the community “to immediately terminate all ties to them”. “[Frederic/Dresner] has shown a willingness to decieve this community to further his own goals – even if Myers herself is a different person, which we sincerely doubt, she too has lied in order to further her own goals and has thus far only continued the policies of Frederic. We cannot afford to have a deceptive, unstable nation such as this in our community”, he asserted persistently.
Meanwhile, from District, Prime Minister Reinhardt confirms his collaboration in the dossier and that all informations submitted are true. “I was indeed aware of the fact that Frederic was Dresner -he confessed on a letter to the Observer- but I expected him to really make things better, but nothing much changed. He became polemical and aggressive. If the UFSM will collapse after this dossier, it will be only because of his behavior”.
Indeed, what will happen now to the United Federation? What will be the future of Pristinia and the (invisible) New-Karthaginia? Where will Frederic I/Mark Dresner/Ann-Sophie Myers go? I can’t answer positively to these questions, I’m afraid. In my humble opinion, I shall conclude this article with a poetic ending, worthy of all fables:
“Here ends the ballad of Frederic the Inventor, the man who through witchcraft and wizardry, and the art of conception, lived through three micronations, but succumbed in the end to the Bolshevik specters, the disappointed comrade and the egocentric medal-collector“